Dilemma

As you know, we are moving back to Texas after spending the past five+ years being at three different duty stations.  During the past five+ years, I haven't been involved in any drama and I haven't made it to very many extended family functions.  I know this is going to sound awful, but I have been ok with that.

Before we moved one of our last pieces of mail was from my younger cousin.  It was an invitation to her son's 1st birthday in Dallas.  As soon as I opened the mail I knew that this little piece of paper was going to cause me some heartbreak.

I get it.  I get how bad that sounds.

I couldn't help it, I immediantly started crying.  First off, I have hung out with the cousin before and I have never been introduced to her son.  Her older sister also had a son (a few months after her) and I haven't been introduced to her son either.  And I have been to a family function since they have had their kids - a funeral counts, right? 

I talked to Matt about the party.  I told him I didn't want to go but that I also felt like my Mom would be highly dissapointed in me if I didn't and that it would hurt my Aunt (my Mom's sister, my cousin's Mom).  We even talked about making plans to go visit my Grandparents  that weekend.

Last night, my Mom called me and wanted to know when we were going to be back in town.  I told her the date and I knew where the conversation was going to go from there.  My Mom said it was perfect because that coming up weekend was my cousin's son's first birthday and then the next day was a baby shower for another cousin (all in the same immediate family).  I haven't even been invited to the baby shower.  Hell, this was the first time I have even heard about the baby shower.  This cousin hasn't even annouced that she is pregnant to me and she is due in less than 10 weeks.

I told my Mom about our plans to go visit my Grandparents - even that didn't sway her.  She said that I could do both.  I could go to the birthday party on Saturday, drive up to see my Grandparents and stay the night, then drive back to Dallas for the baby shower.

I wish my Mom could understand how difficult it is for me to be around babies - especially since everyone who is attending these parties either have kids or is pregnant with the exception of me and my sisters.

Sign me up, please.  Exactly how I wanted to spend my first weekend back in Texas.