New Year's Eve

Dear 2011 -

I have made some great new friends and I have lost contact with others.  

I moved from our home of the past three years (Atlanta, Georgia) to a temporary home of Columbia, South Carolina for ten months.  

For six glorious months I felt like I had God's blessing all over us when we were presented with an adoption that seemed to be crafted by Him and no other.  During that time, I had hope.  Hope.  That was honestly something that I had forgotten existed.  17 days ago that ended.

Maybe the most important thing I have learned from this year is that I have grown.  For the past three years I have not been able to really be happy for anyone (people I know and loved and complete strangers) if they were pregnant, gave birth, or had children.  The day after our adoption fell through, my best friend from college gave birth to her first child - a beautiful little girl - and I was happy for her, her husband, and her little bit of Heaven.  I am sure part of my being happy for them is because they overcame a struggle with infertility as well.  But just the fact that I was able to be happy even when my world was falling apart made me feel good.

Please let your sister, 2012, be kinder to me ... to us.  Please let us finally become a family of three - through adoption or getting pregnant, whatever.  Just give us some direction.

We could really use the break.

Thanks,

Susan and Matt