My old high school teacher just posted that status on her facebook page and it struck a chord with me.
I am so tired of all of this doubt, fear, and negativity running around in my head.
What if I can't lose this weight? What if I lose the weight and still can't get pregnant? What if our IVF doesn't work? What if I never get the chance to be a Mom here on Earth?
These are just some of the thoughts that are on loop in my head 24/7. I am so over being
We are going home to Houston in a few days - and in about a month we will be moving back to Houston for good since Matt is getting out of the Army. While we are home I am going to go check out my old gym I used to go. While Matt was deployed in 2007-2008 I joined this gym and wound up losing over 40 pounds. Needless to say, that weight has since been gained back and then some thanks to my very unhealthy food obsession and lack of exercise. To say I loved this gym would be an understatement. My old gym is what I compare all of other MMA gyms we have joined since moving around all over the country.
I am hoping that this gym is still what I remember and love and if it is, I am going to join it and make my dreams and hopes of losing this weight my reality.
2012 will be MY/OUR year. I am going to work my ass off to make sure it happens.
I recently found and joined your blog through a group that I am part of. We have had a similar experience...a failed adoption of twin girls 4 years ago. I love the quote of letting your faith be bigger than your fear. Sometimes it is hard to believe that. But hold on to your faith. It will get you through this time if nothing else can. Something that helped me recently as we fought our birth mom(she tried to revoke our adoption) was that it does not matter who I am, it matters who HE is. And he is bigger than all of this.
ReplyDeleteHi I just found your blog, or felt drawn to your blog. We also went through all the fertility procedures known to man. We then adopted. I can't say I had a failed adoption, but can imagine your pain. All the pain we struggled with ttc and then the emotional journey of adoption. I too had some insensitive comments said to me by people who had no idea what I was going through. I can now use that for my growth. I now am more sensitive of what I say. I never thought twice about "complaining" about something my husband did, until someone who lost their husband nicely reminded me how they would give anything to have their husband back. So stay strong in your faith, and keep on going. You will be matched with the perfect child for you. I truly believe that now that it has happened to us. I can't imagine it not being my darling daughter. I know it's easier to say now that we are a family. I didn't like people telling me "everything happens for a reason" until they could tell me the reason. I have not read your entire ttc journey, just the adoption part so far. Look forward to hearing the joy in your life.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you have faith & God in your life, ALL things are possible!! I'm glad I found you and get to follow your journey!! YOU CAN DO IT!! :0)
ReplyDeleteHappy ICLW #65
I hope you had a safe journey home and your gym was everything you remembered it being. Best wishes on your weight loss journey.
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